Three Shot:  Remember Me
by Zosie
Summary: Bella and Edward share one night together ten years after their divorce, after Rose and Emmett's wedding. Lemons so adults only please.
1. Three Shot:Remember Me Part 1

**A/n A quickie to get back in the saddle after FIL's funeral.I will finish Forevermore next then Lighthouse, promise!**

**Three Shot**

Remember Me

"Alice, relax, you are wearing a track in the carpet." cautioned Rosalie, adjusting a single hair that had dared to fall out of the perfect style her golden locks had been teased and curled and persuaded into.

"There's so many things that could go wrong. What if the flowers are late or don't turn up, what if the chicken at the reception is undercooked and poisons us all, why did you go with chicken, so risky."

"Anyone would think you were the bride. I don't remember you being this nervous at your own wedding."

"Rose, I was a child, I was 21 years old, you just assume at that age that everything will work out."

"And it did. You and Jasper have had thirteen glorious years of wedded bliss. Emmett and I should have bit the bullet back then and not postponed our own nuptials this long. It just became unimportant until the pregnancy test turned pink."

"Thank God for that, I had given up all hope of you two ever tying the knot."

Rose smiled. The positive result had spurred her to finally escalate their relationship after a twelve year engagement. Marriage had never been the priority, being together and in love had been all that counted. But now they had to put the baby first and being married seemed like the right thing to do. She wasn't even showing and no morning sickness, thank the Gods.

A knock sounded at the door and Alice jumped to answer.

"Bella, Oh My God, you made it! Rose, it's Bella!" Alice squealed, jumping into the newcomers arms and squeezing the life out of her.

Rose turned and held her arms out to her dear friend, whom she had not laid eyes on for a decade.

"Bella, welcome home." she said, quietly and sincerely.

"Congratulations, I was stunned to get your invitation. I can't believe you and Emmett never got around to this earlier. Bad Rose!" Bella joked.

"It didn't seem necessary to fix what wasn't broken, but the baby demands we all have the same surname so I gracefully gave in." explained Rose.

Bella gently touched the flat stomach of her friend forever.

"I wonder what it is, a big, strong boychild with a mop of black curls and broad shoulders, or a petite, pretty golden haired girl?" Bella mused.

"So long as it's not a broad shouldered girl or a slender, golden haired boy." laughed Alice, safe in the knowledge her son was like his father, tall and strong, and her daughters both tiny slim versions of herself.

The three women touched hands and felt the comradeship they had always shared resurface. They had been best friends for so many years, from the time they started school together as pretty five year olds.

They had shared puberty, and crushes on boys, and first dates, and proms, and weddings. Two weddings.

Rose was the last to complete the ritual.

They had missed milestones as well. The births of Alice's children, Bella had not been back since the divorce, so she only knew Jaxon and Alison and Jalissa by photos and videos, she had never seen them in the living flesh and she looked forward to her first encounter. It suddenly seemed silly to have stayed away and missed the births.

Selfish, self indulgent, she and Edward were adults and could behave in each other's presence , surely. She should have come back. Now she had missed those precious, never to be recaptured baby days of Alice and Jasper's babies.

"I am getting the ring bearer and flowergirls in for you to meet." announced Alice, and three equally beautiful children were ushered into the room by her.

"Jaxon,this is Auntie Bella."

"Hi Jaxon, good to finally meet you."

The child grinned and hugged his aunt-by-choice. The divorce meant she was no longer related to him, never had been, seeing he didn't arrive for four years after that ending.

"Alison and Jalissa, now 4. Peas in a pod." laughed their mother.

"Hello, girls, you are just as adorable as your photos, your many, many photos your Mom sent me ever since you were born."

"And beforehand, remember, I did send you copies of the ultrasound scan."

"Oh yes you did." agreed Bella.

"Ladies, Jaxon, it's time." said a familiar voice at the door and Bella found herself wrapped in another pair of arms she had missed so much.

"Jasper, your children are adorable."

"Bella, so good to see you. I wondered what it would take to get you back amongst us again."

"I really regret not coming earlier. It just always seemed too hard."

"Well, you are here now. How long are you staying?" he asked.

"A night. It's all I could manage to get off work, I know it was insane to come all this way for a single night but I had to keep my promise to Rose."

"How do you like London?" he asked.

"It's...different. Interesting. Cold, wet, much the same as Forks weatherwise, but I love the whole history of the UK."

"We will talk later." he promised as they assembled and Rose took her father's arm. The bouquets were handed out, and Alice sighed in relief.

Walking down the aisle behind the small girls tossing rose petals, and the boy proudly carrying the pillow the two gold bands rested on was fine, until Bella looked forward and was hit with a massive attack of deja vu as Edward turned and watched her approach where he stood at the front beside his brother. This time though their positions were reversed and Emmett was the one nearest the aisle.

Bella tried to remember to breathe, and shake away the memory of that other walk down this very aisle. Sixteen years ago, is that possible? Where had the time gone? They had been so young, so sure, so eager and so destined to fail. Bella was glad of their optimism, that day was still the one perfect day she looked back on whenever life got too hard. Once she had it all, but somehow it had slipped away.

She tried hard not to cry as she reached the front of the church, and slipped into the lefthand side, Alice leading and making room beside her, then Rose beside Bella.

Emmett beamed and took his bride's hand and Bella faced the front and concentrated on what she had to do to fulfill her role as bridesmaid.

Her eyes sought him out, as he stood beside his brother and acted his role as best man. He smiled at her once and her heart flipped and her stomach dropped, and she remembered why she had avoided coming home.

This was why.

It was so hard, too hard.

She longed for the service to be done, the wedding to be over; the reception would be impossible, sitting at the bridal table again, beside Edward again, pretending to breathe and talk and smile and laugh. How the hell had she kidded herself this was going to be bearable?

Alice nudged her back to attention and she followed her friend to the aisle and felt Edward take her hand and entwine his fingers in hers and the past ten years vanished.

The walk to the door seemed endless, but she smiled and nodded at people she recognized, and she teared up at the sight of Esme and Carlisle. They both smiled kindly at her and somehow that was harder to endure than the opposite would have been.

They must hate her, deep down, for ruining their son's life when he was so young. She had been the one to convince everyone getting married at eighteen was right for them, they were different and special, they loved each other completely, there was no reason to wait.

The bride and groom disappeared in their car and Bella felt Edward pull her towards his own car, to follow on to the reception. She hadn't thought about how she would get there, who would drive her, she just assumed someone would.

Edward held the passenger door open and she stepped inside the same car he had driven in college, when they had lived in that tiny loft, with little furniture and a faulty heating system that meant often they had to climb into bed as soon as they got home from class, to huddle together and share bodyheat under the thick, white comforter.

She smiled at the memory of the many coffee's they had drunk to stay awake to study, their bodies satisfied from the inevitable lovemaking that took place minutes after they touched, their kisses lingering, their books abandoned, waiting, while she and Edward explored bodies again, even though they were as familiar as their own.

She brushed the tears away impatiently. It's natural to remember the good times but there had been bad times, and the bad times had won in the end.

"You look amazing." he said as he slid into the drivers seat and started the reluctant engine.

He smiled at her and once again, she felt the effect he had on her, had always had on her. Maybe he always would have.

"Thank you." she whispered, unsure of what else to say to him. Their last exchange had been angry and heated and they had never spoken again.

"So, Emmett and Rose managed to find you and get you to come back after everyone else failed." he said, looking at her, his forehead slightly frowning, his eyes sad.

"We had a pact, Alice, Rose and I, to be at one anothers weddings, no matter what. No excuses acceptable."

"When did you make that pact?" he asked.

"When we were thirteen and Alice was convinced she and Alec were about to elope. Rose and I convinced her elopement was not the way, she would miss her day in the spotlight and no dress, I think it was the no dress that stopped her."

"Alec? Was he willing to elope with her?"

"Hard to say, they had never actually spoken to each other, Alice just 'knew' he was the one."

Edward laughed, and his velvety voice went straight through to her soul.

"They didn't even date." he remembered.

"No, sadly the whole affair fizzled out when he took Charlotte to Jessica's 14th birthday party." Bella explained.

"I remember that party." he said so softly she barely heard him.

She remembered it too.

They had been on smiling, and in her case, blushing terms, but had not spoken to each other yet. That night Jess had started an embarrassing game of strip poker and Bella had bailed, hidden out in the garden, afraid to reveal she still wore a training bra, if she had to remove her blouse.

She had been hiding in the gazebo when Edward came to find her, and they sat and talked alone for hours while the party progressed without them. He had sat across from her at first, the wooden table between them, then he had stood and stretched, and asked if he could sit beside her instead. She had turned all shades of red, and edged over, allowing him to take a seat next to her. His hand had reached out and taken hers , and he had laughed as she told him tales of her dad the Chief of Police and boys who had tried to visit her , but never got past Charlie. And at the end of the night, he had leaned in and kissed her lips gently, her very first kiss.

Jasper and Emmett had just walked outside, and had seen the kiss and they taunted him endlessly but he had not let her hand go, he had stood up to their jibes and stayed by her side. She had felt special for the first time in her life.

They had become girlfriend and boyfriend and had moved on to dating once Charlie allowed it when she turned fifteen, always in a group, never alone. But they had managed moments alone, sitting across the other side of the cinema from their friends in the darkness, sneaking off the trail when they went hiking, Emmett leading the way, showing off to the girls. Edward had dropped them back to last, then taken her to his meadow and ditched the others, meeting up later in the carpark so Charlie was none the wiser. They had spent a whole four precious hours alone, kissing, gazing at the clouds, entwined in each other, still only touching innocently, above their clothes.

Her body trembled as it remembered their next visit to the meadow a year later, when hands had found their way inside clothing, and had discovered places that felt nice to touch, and be kissed, and they had returned every year, until she left Forks, alone.

She didn't want to think about those visits but her mind refused to let go of the day they made love there, for the first time. She had been urging him to be her first, he had wanted to wait but she had planned it out to the last detail. Alice had stolen two condoms from her older brother Emmett's supply and slipped them to Bella.

She had asked Edward to take her to the meadow for a picnic, it being her sixteenth birthday. She knew Charlie and Renee planned a surprise party for her the next day, just to throw her off the scent. They had acted all low key, like the new frock and the cd player were all her gifts, and they had congratulated themselves that their daughter had no clue all their family and her friends would be leaping out from behind furniture then next night.

Bella knew, but didn't care, gifts and cake were not on her list of what she wanted for her long awaited birthday.

Only Edward could give her what she coveted, and once they finished eating and lay on the blanket and started to kiss and caress, she knew she could push him to the point he would accept the condoms and give her the gift.

And he had.

"Right now I wish I could read your mind." he said, and Bella blushed, glad he couldn't.

"I tried to find you. I saw you in every brown haired girl that walked down the street, I grabbed an embarrassing amount of strangers by the shoulder and turned them around, always disappointed when they weren't you." he said.

"I left, I went to Seattle that night then London on the next available flight..." she explained.

"I can't believe you did that. Why so far? Why so fast? Didn't you even want to try and fix things?"

She sighed. She had avoided this conversation for ten long years.

"It was unfixable. You know that." she answered.

"No, I didn't know that. How could we know that when we never tried? Something is only unfixable if the attempts at fixing don't work."

She shook her head and looked out the window.

"Bella, I have missed you every minute of every day since you disappeared. I looked for years, I haunted Charlie so much he ended up getting a restraining order banning me from approaching his house, did you know that?"

She shook her head sadly.

"I just wanted a chance to talk." he sighed.

"I didn't need to know why you did it." she said. "I always knew someone like you could do better than someone like me."

"What are you talking about?" he asked, angry and lost.

"You and Tanya. When she told me she was expecting your baby, the one thing we had not managed to achieve ourselves, I knew I had to go and let you have the family you craved."

He slowed the car and carefully pulled off the road and looked at her.

"Tanya told you she was pregnant? To me?" he questioned.

"Yes, she felt someone should tell me before she was showing and everyone knew, I guess she didn't want me to be the last to know."

"And you accepted her word, and didn't even ask me, didn't give me the chance to deny it."

"Edward, when your husband gets another woman pregnant, the why's are not important, just the...betrayal. It's all I heard."

"I never betrayed you. I never slept with Tanya." he stated.

"Edward, don't." Bella sighed. "It's done and dusted. It's in the past, let's leave it there. I am going home tomorrow and it will be like I never came back. Let it go."

"You divorced me because of a lie? I thought it was because of the money, or lack of it, I thought you were tired of struggling and working nights and not being able to conceive. Why didn't you tell me the real reason?"

"I should have said, what? 'Oh Edward, your girlfriend told me about the baby, let's have a reasonable conversation about it and civilly part after I am completely humiliated with the entire population of Forks knowing she gave you what I failed to'?"

"Bella, would you listen. Tanya lied. She chased me, she wanted me, and yes, once she kissed me, but I slapped her face, yes, I slapped a woman. She was so aggressive, and she caught me off guard at the club and kissed me in front of everyone, I had to show people I was not party to her game, so I slapped her. I guess she went straight from the club to you and told you the lie. When I got home you were gone and next thing, the petition to divorce was filed."

"Are you saying Tanya never had a child? She had the pregnancy test stick in her bag, it was positive."

"Tanya has a kid, but if you had waited to see it, you would have had to accept the truth. It's Laurent's child, no way could she pass him off as mine."

Bella stared at his face, he was not lying and why would he say such a thing that could be disproven so easily.

Tears welled in her eyes, treachery tugged at her heart, her own treachery. She had taken the word of a woman she barely knew , and not even let her own husband defend himself.

Edward started the engine and drove in silence to the reception and opened the door for Bella as she alighted the vehicle, drawing in one last lungful of his essence as she left the enclosed space that smelt of him.

She ate and drank and talked and laughed as she knew she would but had she been taken to court and had to swear what she ate, what she drank, what she said, she would have had no answers.

The reception came to an end and she felt Rose kiss her cheek and thank her for keeping her long ago given promise, and she felt herself lifted from the floor as Emmett kissed her loudly, and she waved as they left.

Then she had no idea what to do next. She had rehearsed the reception many times in her head, even on the plane trip over, so acting it out had been easy but what did she do now? Alice and Jasper rushed three sleepy children off home to bed, so more kissing goodbye, then suddenly everyone was going, and she alone sat at the table and played with her last glass of champagne.

The staff clearly wanted her to go, to leave so they could clean up and go home themselves.

She stood and steadied her wobbly legs and picked up her purse. The key to her room upstairs was tagged with a plastic pineapple shape, so she grasped it in her right hand and her purse in her left.

She slowly and deliberately walked to the elevator and pushed for a lift ascending to the heavens. The door was about to close when he stepped in beside her.

"What do you want, Edward?" she asked.

"One night. You owe me that." he replied.

She didn't resist, she knew when she boarded the plane at Heathrow it was going to happen like this, even if he had a new wife and a dozen kids, she knew in her heart he would seek her out for one last night.

She refused to think about betrayal and regrets tonight, plenty of years in the future for those. She had a lifetime.

The door made no attempt to resist when he took the key from her and opened it wide and pulled her inside with him.

She walked to the bed, and unzipped the pretty plum and pink frock and let it slide to the floor. He stood watching, not speaking, as she peeled the halfslip down her legs as well, and just remained in her bra and matching boypants. Black lace, yes, clearly she had planned this. When did she ever wear black lace underwear?

When she bought it last week, the salesgirl had smirked.

"Special occasion?" she had asked, and Bella had nodded.

Even this girl could see Bella was not a black lace lingerie type of woman.

He was on his knees, his arms around her thighs, his lips on her belly, kissing, tasting, pushing lower, pushing her panties down, his tongue licking and seeking her out.

She allowed him to do whatever he chose, it was his night.

He dragged the lace panties down with his teeth and she stepped out of them when they reached the floor.

Then he forced her legs apart, wider, and he disappeared between her thighs and she arched and moaned as his mouth remembered her body and went straight to the spot she needed him to lick, and suck, and tease, and it was like they had never been apart. He played her like an instrument. She responded, she writhed against his eager mouth, she grabbed his hair, messy as always and felt it's baby softness that had always driven him crazy as he tried to make it sit in a style and it fought and fell onto his forehead and rebelled.

He remembered her as he felt her sway and tighten and pulse, her hands tugging now as she came undone and he licked in her ambrosia. Her legs were giving out, so he pushed her down on the bed and stripped his own clothes off, rolling her onto her side so he could lie behind her and remove her bra to cup her breasts with his hands as he pushed inside her body.

She felt the same, the way she felt right from that first time, in the meadow when they were just kids. He could almost feel the gentle rays of the sun as it discovered their naked flesh that day, and it had kissed her all over with its rays just as he had done with his lips.

He couldn't have stopped, it wasn't what he had planned but once she kissed him and took him into her mouth, he was her slave and when she handed him the silver packet he had not hesitated, he had torn it open and he had taken her there and then, with no further thought. She was truly his from that day onwards. She had never known another man inside her and he had sworn she never would.

He wondered briefly now how many men had taken her like this, since she left, but he didn't ask, he would never cope with hearing the details. One would be one too many, a thousand would be better, that way he would know none of them were special.

He had never loved anyone else, and his heart thumped at the feel of her skin at his fingertips as he traced the tattoo's on her back, his name enclosed in a heart, her present to him for his eighteenth birthday, and the red rose with both their names on the stem. They both had the same design, and the date of their wedding was written beneath. They had them done on their honeymoon and he was glad she had not had any of it removed. It was like she had let a little of him stay with her, a little piece survived the death of them. He held her in tight as his body honored hers, and their fingers entwined as he pushed in and then out, over and over, kissing her neck, her ear, her throat, and he remembered her.

She rocked in his rhythm and her body sang as it remembered him, and he hit places nobody else had, and she pushed herself impossibly closer, her need for him raw and desperate. They were meant to be like this and it should frighten her with the intensity, but she merely accepted that this was how it was with them, always.

When they peaked together, he lay and breathed her in, then he withdrew and she involuntarily gasped at the loss, it was like part of her own body had gone. He rolled her into his arms and his mouth sought hers and their tongues remembered each other after all this time as they played together, and he cried silently at the feel of her body beside his.

So much had been stolen away and tonight he had it back and he wanted to remember every single second when the sun rose and tomorrow stole her away again.

They slept, entwined, touching all the way, and they made love again and again, she knew she would sleep on the plane home. It would be better to sleep than to think.

"Your skin hasn't changed." he whispered in wonder as he kissed her everywhere he could reach to kiss.

She smiled up at him and he held her tight for dear life.

His green eyes shone and she remembered them. They saw into her soul and they warmed her, and she gazed into them and hoped he knew she was so very sorry for what she had done. It was too late, years too late, they had lives that no longer included one another, they had careers and no doubt a spouse and maybe children, and it was too late for them but in a way, none of that mattered because they would always have this night.

It was more than either had dared hope but they had both dreamed the same dream and now they lived that dream.

His phone rang and he quickly silenced it. Her phone rang and she turned it off. Neither explained who was seeking contact, wanting to know where they were, what they were doing, who they were with. Nobody else mattered in this night.

He massaged her back and neck, and peppered both with gentle kisses.

She stroked his body in long, soft touches that ignited his soul. He smiled and felt his heart beat again, after so long. He had forgotten that part, the way she made him feel so alive, so conscious of breathing, so eager to keep breathing to be with her longer.

She had forgotten his smell. She had searched her mind many times and when she kissed other men, she breathed them in experimentally but nobody had ever reminded her of Edward. He was unique. It was so much more than his beauty, and his touch, and his very essence, it was everything, he was everything.

When dawn found them, she knew how this would end but she welcomed it. Dying is easy, living without him impossible now. He would never know. She would simply disappear again.

He stroked her sides and kissed her breasts and she sighed and allowed herself one last memory, he moved inside her heart as he moved inside her body.

He wondered if he would ever bother to breathe again after today. Would there be a reason to? Now he had tasted a night of what life should have been, he didn't want that pale imitation back that he had endured for the last ten years. Better death than losing her again.

His body released inside hers and she tightened around his at the same time and they gazed at each other and smiled, their eyes saying goodbyes that their mouths refused to utter.

She completed him, he completed her.

He threaded his fingers through hers and pinned her hands to the pillow beside her head.

"I love you, Bella." he whispered.

"As I love you, my love." she answered with a sincerity she had rarely felt.

He allowed her up when she asked him to, and she pulled him inside the shower that used up most of the space in the bathroom and he washed every inch of her as she stood and let him, then she washed every inch of him.

They toweled the wetness away and their lips met again and he held her as close as was humanly possible.

"Thank you." he said, his words heartfelt.

"Thank you, Edward. I feel alive again. I wonder for how long?" she replied.

He opened her suitcase and took out clean clothing and he dressed her, his eyes and mouth smiling when he found the blue blouse in there, the blouse he bought her so long ago. It was well worn, and that warmed his heart, she still wore it, and he knew it reminded her of him and his love for her. He dressed her carefully, like one would a small child, slowly, to delay the inevitable parting.

He had nothing to wear except the tux he had discarded, and he pulled it on, smiling ruefully, no doubt it would raise a few eyebrows as he walked out of the lobby.

Her wake up call came and she faced him, and he smiled and clung to her one last time.

"Be safe, be happy, I love you." he said as she cried and walked out the door, her small suitcase in hand.

"Say goodbye to them all for me." she said, and he nodded. He had robbed them all of time with her, and now that time was over.

"Look after my heart, I am leaving it with you." she said as she kissed him for the last time.

The taxi disappeared as the traffic swallowed it up and he turned towards his own car and felt the connection fade as the distance lengthened.

"Bella, my Bella." he sighed. Had she really been here or had he dreamed it all up? He felt his lips, still swollen from their quest to kiss her enough, and he had not achieved that, much as he had tried. Eternity would never be enough for him.

He felt himself dying emotionally as he drove , to the empty apartment he called home, and he gazed at the wedding photos on the walls. They were his companions, all he had of her, other than his tattoos that matched hers and made him remember.

"I remember you, you remember me." he begged as he faced the photograph he loved the most.

She smiled down at him and he gazed at the image that did her no justice. A flat cold surface could not convey her warmth and touch, even her smile, you felt her smile, it warmed you and made you glad to be alive, to be sharing the same planet as she did.

He touched the cold image and willed it to spring to life but she stayed in the frame and he didn't feel her again until he lay in his bed that night and his dream replayed the last night back again and he cried into his pillow when he woke with her name on his lips and found his bed and his life empty.

"Be happy." he whispered. It was all he could hope for her now. He prayed whoever she belonged to now loved her a hundredth as much as he loved her, because that would still be more than most people ever had.

Bella stepped off the plane and into her car. The drive home was long and boring but her lips were curved into a smile as she remembered. She wondered if the other passengers knew what she had dreamt about as she slept through the long flight back. She wondered if she had called out his name in her sleep, or if her secrets were safe.

Her small, empty flat welcomed her home and she played the messages of calls she had missed. Of course there had been emergencies and urgent pleas for her to come back to work, and that was all anyone here wanted her for, to fix the many problems involved in her career path. Her life was without love or companionship but she hoped whoever loved Edward now forgave him his night with her, hoped his wife accepted whatever story he offered, maybe he spent the night at Jasper and Alice's?

She touched her belly and prayed with all she had, that maybe he had given her the gift of his child. He hadn't asked so she had not had to lie about contraception, nobody had touched her in any way that required it in the ten long years she had lived here and she had purposely adjusted her cycle so she would be at her peak of fertility the night of the wedding.

Maybe she would not be alone after all.

**Please review**


	2. Remember Me Part 2

**A/N Thanks for reviews, you all rock.**

Remember Me

Part Two

"Bella, I have Demetri on the phone, Felix is waiting in your office and Aro is on his way over, the Volturi account went pearshaped yesterday. Can you come back to the present and stop drifting away, please."

Bella shook herself mentally.

"Sorry, Mike. What's happened? I thought you and Jacob had everything in hand? I had to go, I haven't taken a single day off for almost six years, I can't believe none of you managed to hold things together for five days without me."

"I guess we are all incompetent sailors who can't handle the wind without our captain in charge." he sighed, speaking into the phone apologetically as Demetri screamed his frustrations at him.

"I'm sorry, I can have a new crew on site today, let me get it organized and I will get back to you in ten. Have a nice day."

Mike dropped the phone and silenced the next call, many waited in queue but he had to touch base with his dream girl before she drowned in demands from their clients.

"I missed you, was it fun, the wedding? I wish you had let me go with you." Mike touched Bella's shoulder and froze in surprise when she unthinkingly shook his hand away.

He had made little progress with her, but now it seemed he was back to square one.

If only she had taken him with her, he would have given her a night to remember after the emotional event of her friends wedding. Mike knew she had been married, and had friends that were more like family, but he also knew she had never gone back before, because she was afraid to. He had wondered what her fears were based on. Had her ex husband been abusive? Was that why she hid over here, in another country?

She was so beautiful and he wanted to take her home and protect her and show her how good marriage could be, with the right man. She didn't see him like that, but he had managed to kiss her every year at the Christmas Party, under the mistletoe, and that had to be enough, much as he wanted so much more for them.

"Bella, thank the Gods you are back." boomed the voice of the man Mike hated most in the world. Jacob Black, who had known Bella from birth, had always been his main rival, the one to beat. Jacob had moved to London when he ran into Bella in a pub a year after she moved here, he had been on a backpacker world tour, and he had immediately gone home to sell his house and wind up his business, and relocate. Mike understood why, but he hated the man and his beauty, all the same.

The only silver lining was, she seemed as immune to Jake's charms as she was to his, and he didn't have the money or fancy apartment or car collection Jake had.

At least she was not a woman impressed by wealth.

It meant he and his Boss shared an even playing field when it came to Bella, though Jake now owned the company. He had promoted her to be his equal, and he used that fact to have her companionship whenever he chose.

Mike glared at having his meagre time taken away, as Jacob lifted Bella into his arms and kissed her cheek in a way he would never dare, not without mistletoe sanctioning his actions.

"Jake, for Heaven's sake, how did this happen? Where were you? Don't even pretend the crews only listen to my orders, why didn't you get rid of them if they refused to follow your directions?" she growled, exasperated.

"I guess it just goes to show how much we need you here with us, you can't go sneaking off to play happy families with the Cullens." Jake smirked. Mike suddenly understood, she had refused to let Jake accompany her to the wedding, so he had let everything tumble down in her brief absence so she would never go away again.

Hmm, Jake was smarter than Mike had thought.

Bella worked furiously all day, and Jake smiled to himself as she sorted and reorganized and smooched up to disgruntled customers as only Bella could. Aro came in with thunder in his eyes and left with a smile on his face and two dozen red roses were delivered before the day ended.

"To Isabella who saved the whole project, forever in your debt, Aro." read the small white card. Mike placed the flowers in water and wondered if he dared lose the card and claim responsibility for sending them to her.

Too risky, Aro was such a big mouth, he would ask her if the roses were to her liking next time he visited.

"Jake, I am tired, I have worked twelve hours straight, the only place I want to go tonight is to my bed, and oblivion." Bella announced loudly as she gathered her coat and purse and waved a quick wave at Mike.

Jake stood against her desk and grabbed her hand.

"I assure you, my plans definitely included your bed." he smirked.

Bella stopped and turned to face him.

"Jacob, you know that is never going to happen. I am sorry if I was giving out mixed signals before, but after my night in Forks, be assured, I will never weaken to the point where you will be welcome in my bed."

She walked into the elevator and disappeared from their sight.

"Bloody Cullen, he has had her in his bed. One fucking night and he moved in on her, the bastard." Jake exclaimed.

Mike wondered if he was required to answer, as he tidied Bella's desk and turned the light off.

Jake marched back to his own office and he turned and waved Mike inside.

"I have to go with the big guns. Mike, I want a hundred bunches of white roses waiting for her when she gets home, I want champagne and caviar delivered at midnight, I plan to have her naked and satisfied by then. I will show her what a real man can offer her. She thinks she still loves him. I will prove to her what a pathetic user Cullen is. He cheated on her and knocked up Tanya Denali, she cannot possibly forgive him for that. Bella never forgets."

He strode towards the elevator and Mike grabbed the phone and did his masters bidding.

Maybe Bella would hate the gesture Jake was making, she hated a fuss. Mike ordered two hundred flower arrangements and a case of champagne and hoped he was still employed when Jacob found out.

Bella shoved the deliverymen aside and wondered how she would breathe without falling into a fit of hayfever as the flowers covered every surface of her small living area.

"Can I put some in your bedroom, we are running out of space?" the lanky youth asked.

"No way, I tell you what, take them all to the hospital and give them to the patients there, maybe someone will appreciate this gesture." she said, pulling a fifty from her purse and tipping the boy.

When she came out of the shower, the roses were gone but a crate of champagne sat in the middle of the room, and she knew she would be tripping over it in the night when she wandered out looking for coffee.

She wondered if handing out bottles of Dom Perignon to the homeless was permissible?

She rarely drank, and look where a few glasses of champagne had led her at the wedding.

She lay on her couch and smiled at the memory and rubbed her belly.

"I hope you are in there, my little love." she sighed. If this child existed, her whole life would change. Maybe she should go back home, live in the house she had shared with Charlie after Renee ran off and lived out her lifelong fantasy of being with a sports star.

Charlie would always welcome Bella back, he had even braved the long flight to London three times since she had fled the country of her birth. His death had nearly crippled her and she had not gone back for the funeral, she left it to his ex wife to stage a dramatic goodbye. Charlie wasn't there, Bella felt him beside her in her little English home, always there for her even in death. She didn't need to farewell his body, it was but a shell. His soul watched over her, and he had left her his house. Maybe he would like to go back to the little clapboard house and watch over his grandchild, as it grew up in the room Bella had. She would think about it, if the rabbit died.

xXx

"Can I help you?" Jake asked as he closed his office door and he stiffened when he recognized the man standing before him.

"Edward, nice to see you again. It's been a while."

He wondered what this man was doing, coming all this way, chasing after a woman he had already had his chance with.

"Jacob. I didn't know you lived in London. I guess I just assumed you were still on the Res."

"No, I came here to be with Bella after you let her down. She and I had always been friends, she needed someone to pick up the pieces of her heart after what you did to it, and I was happy to oblige." Jake answered smoothly, without missing a beat.

"Are you and Bella married?" asked Edward, his face betraying his greatest fear.

"Yes, five years now." lied Jake. It would be the truth if he had gotten his way. He had never begged any woman before Bella and he did it regularly but it never got him into her heart. But Cullen was not walking back into her life and taking her away from him again.

"I just wanted to see Bella for a few minutes, make sure she is okay after her trip home." continued Edward, standing firm.

She had been in his arms, whatever the situation was with Jake, there was still room in her heart for him, and he was not about to run home again without seeing her.

"I will tell her you dropped by, but you will have to excuse me, I have my lovely wife to get home to." Jake answered, and he locked the door as they strode together to the elevator. He must not know where she lives, or he would have gone there, Jake reasoned.

Mike Newton scuttled out and entered the elevator with them.

"Champagne ordered, flowers delivered but the deliveryman said.."

"It's fine, Mike, thank you. I am sure my wife appreciates you helping me with this for our anniversary." Jake cut him off.

Mike looked perplexed, and his eyes slid to the tall stranger at his Boss's side.

Why was Jake putting on this charade?

Jake turned and shook the man's hand in the secure carpark and they eyed each other warily and somehow Mike knew he was out of the race but he would rather she was taken by the stranger than Jacob, who never acknowledged Mike's existence unless he needed a favour done, and never a thank you afterwards. The thank you in the elevator infuriated Mike, it was all for show, all to put this man in his place, like Jake constantly did to Mike. Jake drove away in his flashy car and the stranger stood watching.

"They are not married, Bella would not waste her life on a prat like him." Mike told the man with the green eyes.

"Where does she live?" the man asked.

"I can't tell you that but I just hope I do not carelessly drop the fax receipt for the flowers on the ground and leave it for any handsome stranger to find and charge in on his white horse and take her away with him."

Mike accidentally let the paper fall to the ground and headed for the old, unreliable car which was all he could afford. Jake did not pay his minions well, even if he could have afforded to.

Mike knew in doing this, he had probably lost his job and he had definitely lost Bella but he never had a chance with her anyway. She belonged to someone else, and Mike had a feeling it was the man with the messy copper hair, now bending to retrieve the paper off the ground.

"Take care of her. She deserves someone special." Mike said as Edward stood and read the address.

"Thank you, I intend to." answered Edward, walking towards his hired car and handing the visitors pass to the man in the booth at the entrance.

He found her flat without much trouble, and walked up the stairs. Her door was open and she was dragging a case of Dom Perignon to the walkway outside. A handwritten sign on the side asked that everyone help themselves.

Edward's eyes looked at the expanse of pale flesh the robe failed to cover and his breath hitched. She was so lovely, his hands ached to touch her again.

"Can I help you with that?" he asked, and she jumped in fright and turned to face him.

"Edward, what are you doing here?" she gasped, suddenly aware she only wore a bathrobe.

"You left your heart with me, I thought you might need it." he replied and she leapt into his arms, their lips desperately seeking each other.

He lifted her in a fireman's hold and took her inside, kicking the door shut behind them.

Her bedroom was down the hallway, and he lay her on the bed and hovered above her.

"I couldn't let you go again. I harassed Alice until she broke down and gave me your work address, she felt it was not a total betrayal if she refused to give me your home one. I guess she figured you could turn me away at work."

"Why would I turn you away, it didn't work so well for me last time." Bella replied.

Edward stood and removed his jacket and tossed it onto a chair by the door, and sat down beside her.

"We have to talk. I met Jake, he informed me you and he have been married for five years." he told her.

Bella snorted.

"He wishes. I have not married anyone else, I always saw myself as a one husband girl. After you, nobody measured up anyway. Are you married?" she asked, unable to breathe until he replied.

"Yes, I am, I always will be. A piece of paper cannot end a marriage, it cannot tell a heart to stop loving and to move on. Both have proved impossible."

Bella lay back on her bed and pulled him down beside her.

"Tell me everyone you dated."

"Why? None of them meant anything to me."

"I just want to know. Humor me." she replied.

"Let's see. Emmett set me up with Emily, about a year after you left, and I had not left the apartment except to go to work, so I bored the poor girl with tales of what we had done since we fell in love at fourteen. I am sure she had the best date ever, listening to me cry over you."

"Did you sleep with her?" Bella asked.

Edward stiffened.

"I don't know if we really need that conversation. Does it matter? Will it eat us up if we trade stories of our bed companions? I never loved anyone else, isn't that what matters?" he asked.

"Wow, that many. I guess I don't need to know details. Just give me a number." she replied, her heart thumping.

"What if our numbers are way too uneven? Will one of us resent the other? If I say a hundred and you say three, or if I say three and you say a hundred, will it keep us apart?" he asked.

"You are right, just imagining other women touching your body,knowing you in that way...and it's all my fault they happened, anyway." she cried.

"Bella, I have had to fight my demons every night for ten years, wondering who had the privilege to be inside you, where I once was, where I went first, before they did. I can't cope with a number, I would want to know more, names, addresses, see photos of who I need to kill."

Bella curled up beside him and lay her head on his chest.

"Ten years. I suppose that means you got near the hundred mark. Did you have any actual relationships?"

"I tried. After the... I mean, I did try when my parents got to the point where they couldn't cope with me not coping any more, I dated a girl for two years but it was like dating my sister. I just couldn't feel anything for her. She tried, she did her best to make me come back to life. But I had to let her go when she started talking...babies. I couldn't be party to that, to giving her what I failed to give you."

"After the what, Edward?" Bella asked him. It couldn't be 'after the divorce', he wouldn't hesitate over those words.

He held his hands out towards her and she saw the silver scars from his wrists, up his forearms about six inches, the skin still slightly raised.

"No." she cried in horror.

"I couldn't live without you. I thought you were dead, I couldn't find you anywhere, there was nothing left for me to live for." he whispered, shame and selfhatred evident in his voice.

He cradled her face.

"I am nothing without you. Come home to me, Bella. I have nothing if I don't have you. I have no reason to live."

"Edward, no. I can't cope with this. How could you do that? What were you thinking?" she sobbed.

"Simple. I had searched for five years, Charlie died and even then you didn't come home. He was my only link. I had no idea you were still in touch with Alice, that little Pixie lied to us all, told us she never knew where you were. She found me, when I...did that. She begged me to forgive her, in the hospital. She told me she knew where you were but I had to make her swear not to tell you what a pathetic loser I had turned into. I never looked for you again. I knew I was unworthy of your love."

"Why would you think that?" she asked.

"Because I gave up on us, in the most permanent way. I chose death over waiting for you to come home to me." Edward hung his head and Bella reached out and stroked his face.

"If only I had known. I always thought you had married Tanya and had a family. Alice agreed to never mention you, that was the agreement, I would stay in touch with her so long as we pretended you didn't exist. I could not have borne to know about your life with someone else."

"There was no-one else. What a waste. Tell me about your...friends."

"Oh I have friends, I have Mike and Jacob, and I dated a little, but not those two, they both have feelings for me and I never want to be with anyone who has the capacity to be hurt by me. Better strangers who cared as little for me as I did for them. As soon as they got ideas, I backed out and started again with a new stranger."

"So, we both wasted our lives for ten years."

"It seems that way. What happens now? It's been ten years Edward. We can't just pretend none of those years happened. God, I can't believe Esme smiled at me at the wedding. I expected her to hate me for forcing you to marry me when we were just children, and mucking up your life. Now I find out I nearly killed you? How come she didn't refuse to allow me to come to the wedding? She could have told Emmett and Rose not to invite me. Some childish agreement could never stand over the hurt I caused you."

"My parents knew all I lived for was the folorn hope one day I would get to see you again. They were glad you agreed to be Rose's bridesmaid. Believe me, they looked forward to the wedding as much to see that pair finally marry as they did to seeing you and I, hand in hand, walking up that aisle together again. They accept you are mine ,Bella and that there will never be another for me. They wanted me to have that night with you and believe me, they were both on suicide watch when you left. I guess they figured I would end myself after you left me again but now I knew you really were alive , I was determined to be here and have you tell me yourself there was no hope for us, that you had moved on and were happy. Then I guess I may have considered the option but until you send me away, I am right here."

"I don't think I have the strength to stay away from you any more." she said quietly.

"Then don't. Come home with me, we can live anywhere you want. I will move here if you can't leave work, if it's that important. I have money now, I don't need to work, I can stay and just be here when you come home at night. Please let me stay, Bella."

Bella stroked his face and kissed his lips gently.

She only knew what love was because of this man. She was hardly going to punish herself or him further. The truth was, it didn't matter who or how many he had taken to his bed, they were simply substitutes, he had not loved them with his heart even if they knew his body.

The knowledge there had been many hurt, and she knew she would look at every female who spoke to him from now on and wonder if she was one of the hundred. But better a hundred than one single woman, because that would mean she was special, and Bella didn't want anyone else to be special to her Edward.

Jake would make sure it was impossible for her to work with him if Edward stayed here. Mike was sweet, and she often wished she knew how to settle, because she knew he would have given her all he could, and freely. Jake would demand her heart in it's entirety, and she didn't have that to offer, he would never settle for the smaller half and even that was no longer on offer. She may have tried to have something with Jake before now had he been willing to accept she was broken and he could not fix her.

She snuggled against Edward and his arms encircled her and she reveled in the feeling that gaping hole that had become part of her was gone. It had been there so long, it was almost like losing a limb, but it was a limb she didn't want.

"I think it would be best if I resign and work my notice and come back to live in Charlie's house. Then we can start again, Edward, clean slate. Forget everything and everybody else and just see if we can be us again. I want to try. I want that more than anything."

She wondered if she should tell him she may have stolen a baby from him, but she decided, unless it was fact, she need not burden them with acts of secrecy and treachery already. He had given himself freely to her, he would never begrudge her his child, no matter how it had been conceived.

Edward reached out and untied the cord at her waist and looked at her naked form as the robe fell open.

Her breasts were still the same, still just the right size to fit perfectly in his hand and he moaned slightly as he tested the theory. She arched her back slightly so her nipple grazed against his palm and he lost all thought and moved on top of her. His Bella, he had lived for this moment and his dreams had been full of her again. The dreams he had experienced during their ten years apart had always ended sadly, she would fade and disappear in the mist, like she was a mere hologram not a real person, so the new dreams were so much sweeter, and the reality best of all.

He helped her pull his clothes off, no hesitation, they both wanted the same thing, the connection that only became fully complete when their bodies became one again.

"Bella." he gasped, unable to believe she was coming home, coming back to him again. He could live again, breathe, laugh, God, when had he last laughed? Maybe at the wedding, maybe in her presence but nobody even expected him to smile, and he had rarely surprised them. He had smiled when he held Jasper's newly born son, he had smiled when Alice took a photo of him lying on her couch with two pink babies on his broad chest. He remembered their little fluttering heartbeats against his own still heart, and he remembered their smell.

He wanted a baby with Bella, he needed a child that was from both of them. He had failed before, who knows why, but this time he would move Heaven and Earth to see her belly swell and grow and safely cocoon his baby. Whatever medical intervention they needed, he would find a doctor willing to help them achieve that goal.

He pushed his way inside her and she smiled against his lips, with her lips that rested on his own. He lay his forehead against hers and gazed into the deep brown eyes he had loved so much, and missed with all his being.

His Bella. He would make her forget every man that had invaded his space, been where only he should have been allowed.

He wondered if she had used sex as a tool to try and forget him. How many men had pounded into her, did she cry while they took their pleasure? Did she come with them, feel things only he should have made her feel?

Would she compare them to him, and find him lacking?

Nobody loved her as much as he did, he knew that for a fact.

Not Jake, not Mike, not any of the faceless men.

Only he loved her, only he knew the real Bella, the Bella that loved you like you were the only man in the world that mattered.

Only he knew her love and only he wanted to die when that love was taken away and he never thought he could have it again.

He slid his hands beneath her so he could lift her body closer to his. He tried to disappear inside her, become truly one person, he could not bear the thought of leaving her and having to experience that loss again. Maybe she could call in her resignation from this bed?

"Bella, guess who? Did you like the flowers? What the fuck, Mike is ..."

The voice stopped as the body appeared at her bedroom door.

"Bella?"

She slid from beneath him and Edward allowed her to do what she needed to. He covered her carefully, making sure Jacob's eyes didn't get to see any part of his Bella that clothes normally hid.

"Fuck you, Cullen. Killing her the first time wasn't sufficient, you had to come back and destroy her again. Who gets to put her back together again this time, because it won't be me, Bella. Did he bring the wife and kiddies with him? Does his son look just like him or did he favor Tanya?"

"I'm resigning, Jake. I'm going home, I am going to live in Charlie's house and Edward and I are trying again, from scratch. I will work out my notice and finish the Volturi project."

Jake wanted to scream 'don't bother' but he knew Aro would walk away and take his account with him if she left mid project. Anyway, if she had to stay another month, maybe he could discover a way to make her doubt this selfish prick in her bed. Maybe he would mess up, maybe Tanya could be persuaded to come and cause a scene, even at work. Normally Jake would fire anyone who allowed their personal life into the workplace but in this instance, he would encourage it, love to see her lost and humiliated when the woman who had lured her husband into her bed ten years ago confronted her and made her admit the truth. Edward was not worthy of her.

Jake turned and walked to the door, calling out as he left.

"Early start tomorrow so don't be fucking her too long, Edward. She needs her sleep."

He slammed the door and Bella smiled and pulled Edward back towards her.

"Where were we?" she purred, and Edward remembered and moved back into his home.

xXx

**Please review.**


	3. Chapter 3

Remember Me

Part Three

Jake couldn't settle, he paced the width of his office and tried to think of a new reason to delay Bella's departure. He had managed to draw out the Volturi Project a full six weeks but it was done, today the building was handed over and they had no further connection. He cared little that his reputation would take a battering for not finishing in the agreed timeframe but he had been desperate. Bella would only agree to stay until it was done, and she refused to begin any new projects. When the Volturi building was running smoothly despite Jake's efforts to have materials delayed and he had even defaulted paying the crew once, in hope they would walk off the job, Bella had stepped in and authorised emergency payments. For the first time he hated that she was so efficient and calm in a crisis.

Well, he had played his best hand and she was leaving.

That weasel Mike should be looking for a new job but Bella had managed to trick Jake into signing a ten year employment contract that would see him in court if he broke it. He should have smelt the rat, she had walked in, papers in hand and sat on his desk.

"Bella, this is nice, can I take you out for coffee?" he had asked her.

"Sure, coffee sounds good."

He was so used to her refusals it had taken a moment to hear the actual reply and not the one he had expected.

"You seem a little lonely, are you missing Edward?" he had asked, knowing Cullen had been forced to go home and attend to his own business after three weeks here in Bella's bed.

She had worked the shortest hours she had ever put in, when he was waiting for her. This gave Jake some leverage after he left, and he had ensured Bella burned the midnight oil beside him night after night. Even then she didn't bend. No late dinners, no quick visits to the club for a few drinks to pick them up before returning to finish up for that night. Nope, the woman was not taking any chances.

"I thought we could grab lunch? I just need you to sign this contract first." she said, jutting those wondrous breasts out of the blouse that had more buttons undone than usual.

Jake had signed on the dotted line and leaned in closer, his eyes on the orbs of delight he had wanted to touch and suck since puberty, he barely managed to scrawl his name where she indicated, and he never even wondered what he was signing. His soul to the devil? Whatever.

Then Mike had reminded Bella she already had a lunch meeting with Aro and she had flicked him off, refusing a rain check even.

He had been forced to investigate the possibility Tanya Denali would appear at Bella's desk and force the woman to admit the unforgivable act Edward had committed during their marriage was still a thorn in her side.

But even that had been a bust.

Tanya had happily accepted the first class tickets to fly here, and her son did exist but somehow the dark complexion and jet black dreadlocks spoke of some other man, definitely not the pale skinned, copperhaired Edward.

Jake had lost his cool and almost hit her himself when she turned up, a faded, used up, hasbeen who wouldn't be capable of luring a blind man to her bed. She had obviously been a funtime girl in her day, but that day had long experienced the setting of the sun.

Her clothes were suitable for a hooker, or a fifteen year old, those wardrobes seemed interchangeable these days, but she lacked any form of class unless lower really was a class.

So she had stayed for two weeks and played her games in a new city, and he had finally tossed her back on a plane and cursed the waste of his money.

He had thought of having her swear Edward had slept with her back then, even if he didn't leave her with child, but even Bella would find that hard to believe.

Edward had too much taste and class to touch the likes of Tanya and that puzzled Jacob, why had Bella ever believed the obvious lie?

Tanya had told him the whole story, she had made a move on Edward, the attraction was obvious, every woman in town wanted him, but he never so much as glanced at them. Normally he politely turned them down and walked away but Jake had been surprised to hear he had slapped Tanya, and across the face, the man was not the gentleman he pretended to be.

Tanya had added she really had asked for it, his friends and brother had been in the club, and she had thrown herself at him, ignored his polite words of thanks but no thanks, and she had grabbed him and kissed him after giving him the impression she was walking away. He had been totally unprepared and he had slapped her in an instinctive manner of self preservation but maybe that was an angle Jake could explore. If he could goad Edward into hitting him, maybe Bella would think twice. Women usually sided with the loser when a fight erupted, didn't they? Maybe Edward would break his nose if he could think of something vile enough to say to him.

Jake knew Edward was coming back today, to fly home tomorrow with his prize so it was now or never. He watched the tall, firm but slender man walk towards the building and disappear from his sight and he moved to the lobby and waited as the light indicated the elevator was ascending.

Mike Newton was waiting to go down to the floor below to collect some files for Bella to sign off, so Jake took his last ditch chance.

As the elevator opened, Jake turned to Mike, and 'didn't notice' Edward walking into the lobby.

"It looks like you and I will have to find ourselves another girl to sharefuck, Mike. I gotta say, Bella loved having you up her ass while I banged her sweet pussy."

The blow was expected but Jake stood in shock when he realized it was the lowly Mike who had thrown it, and he felt the blood pour down his face as he crumpled to the floor.

Edward shook Mike's hand and clapped his shoulder like they were best fucking friends, and Jake blinked away the tears that accompanied the broken nose, and he gently felt the gap left where his two upper front teeth had been.

He scooped them up from the carpet and fell into the elevator, pushing for third floor where fortunately a dentist had his rooms.

Bella was the last person he saw as the doors shut and for one brief moment he had thought it had been all worthwhile, until she kissed that weaselly Newton on the cheek.

xXx

The flight home was blissful, Edward didn't release her hand unless she needed to use the bathroom, they even managed to eat single handedly.

His heart was better now, fully recovered, she had done what ten years and three psychologists had failed to achieve.

He was happy.

True, they were no longer married, and they had a lot of making up to do, but he knew they would be okay.

No, they would be perfect.

They were older now, stronger, knew so much more about life and love and what it was like to live without it.

Not a scenario either would ever choose to go through again.

Even if they never managed to have that child, he knew she loved him so much for himself that they would survive the disappointment.

Edward adjusted the blanket that covered them, and stroked her cheek as she slept. She was the very definition of beauty, how she could not see that for herself mystified him.

The only time he had ever spoken harshly to her was when she used to call herself 'plain' or 'the girl nextdoor' in a dismissive manner. Like he was more worthy than her because his beauty was obvious. Women craved his attention but he knew many men craved hers, she simply never noticed. Heck, nobody had ever sacrificed two teeth and a nose in an effort to get him.

They had checked on Jake before they left, Edward wanted Bella reassured she wasn't leaving him permanently injured, and the two blackened eyes that had developed overnight only made Jake look twice as bad. His teeth had been replaced but things were looking grim, he may have to settle for a plate and two false teeth if the damage to his gums didn't heal properly. That Mike was surprisingly strong.

"I had an adrenaline rush, I didn't know my own strength." he had chortled, delighted to take his hated boss down.

Bella had been appeased by the doctor's assurance Jake would mend and be as good as new, but Edward knew differently. His face may heal but his heart would forever feel her absence. He knew that feeling too well, the superficial pain of his facial injuries would be a welcome distraction when his heart split in two.

Edward understood Jake's desperation to keep her with him. What was a world without Bella? A desolate, cold, empty space.

The taxi ride home was a mixed blessing, he could hold her hand longer but when she insisted on alighting at the old Swan house, he had hated going on to his parents house without her. She just needed a little time and space, to settle in and reacquaint herself with her old home, she assured him, kissing him gently but firmly.

He promised to step back and give her whatever she needed and she smiled and thanked him, and he knew he was doing the right thing.

He drove back that evening with a hot dinner provided by Esme, and found Bella asleep on the tiny bed of her childhood, exhausted beyond words, unable to even undress, so he gently stripped her naked and carried her into the new king sized bed he had bought and had delivered into Charlie's old bedroom, now completely redecorated by his mother.

It no longer looked anything like it had when Bella last saw it, now it boasted a walk in closet and an en suited bathroom, at the expense of Charlie's old home office.

The walls were lilac and the ceiling and trims snowy white and Esme had somehow caught Bella's personality in the decor. The throw pillows and white metal and cane furniture were casual and pretty, not overstated.

The bedframe featured a climbing rose in white metal, it wove between the bars and blossomed along both the head and foot of the bed.

His mother had made up the bed with white sheets and purple bedding, and Edward slid her inside, and lay behind her, his tall body curved protectively around hers.

He should go home and give her the space she wanted, but this one night he couldn't make his legs obey and he clung to her as she slept, listening to her breathing, feeling her heart beat against his hand.

He smiled into the night.

Edward was whole again.

Her back pressed against his chest, and she sighed and whispered his name in her sleep, and her smile matched his.

His heart threatened to explode, even in slumber she knew he was there.

Edward opened his eyes to find a pair of shining brown eyes staring into his.

Bella smiled and stroked his cheek.

"What are you doing in my bed, may I ask?" she grinned.

"My bed. I paid for it." he answered.

"It's in my house, I think that makes it my bed, not yours." she replied.

"Any bed with you in it is my bed." he retorted with a grin.

"Really, Mr Cullen?"

"Yes, really, Mrs Cullen."

"Edward, before we can even begin, we need to tell each other things we may not want to hear but I don't want them out there, coming back to blow up in our faces. I may not be strong enough if I go into this blindly, and then find there are things that, had I known, I may have never even risked trying again."

"What do you want to know? Just ask."

"I think I need to hear your number. I know it will haunt me and may put me in a bad place for days, all I can ask is that you wait and give me time to accept that I sent you to those women's beds."

"I am embarrassed to tell you." he replied.

Bella bit her lower lip. It was torturous but she did have to know, and she may even have to ask names. She felt very vulnerable, not knowing who these women were, if they would serve her in the shops, and know things she didn't. Forks was a tiny town. It was entirely possible everyone else knew, and she didn't need the voyage of discovery, finding out one name at a time.

"I could go first but don't let my answer influence yours. Promise?" she said.

"I promise. The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth."

The look on Edward's face caused her to pause.

"Okay, new idea."

She stood and opened her purse and pulled out her daily diary from the job she left behind, tearing out two blank pages. She handed one to Edward, with a pen, and turned her back to write on her own scrap of paper.

"Names, length of involvement, that's all we need to exchange, right? Just put an initial if you don't know a whole name."

"Fine." Edward answered tightly.

She gave him five minutes then turned back. He had finished writing so probably not the hundred names she had expected. Maybe he didn't know all their names.

They exchanged papers and she gasped as she opened his.

A single large ZERO was written in the center of the page.

She looked at him.

"You said you dated a girl for two years, Edward."

"I also said it was like dating my sister, and I can assure you I have never slept with Alice either."

He opened her paper and looked into her eyes.

"Really, Bella?"

"Really, Edward."

Somehow the universe was realigned. Neither had shared themselves with anyone else, in the long absence and it made them both feel so much more lucky and special.

"You were pretty hot in the sack after the wedding for someone so out of practice." Bella quipped.

"You were pretty responsive yourself." he answered.

"That was because nobody had touched me for so long. How did you manage?" she asked, genuinely puzzled. She had feared his number may be low, indicating he had stayed for prolonged periods with several single girls over the years, just as she feared he had gone wild and slept with anyone and everyone, but she had never for a second suspected he had remained faithful to her. It had been easy for her, nobody had sparked her interest. Sex for her had only existed with Edward, lust with love, and as she only felt love with him, she also only experienced lust when she thought about him. The idea of using some other man's body while she pictured Edward in her head had never appealed.

Jake was the only one who had ever made her question her choices. She had been almost tempted to try a relationship with him, having spent nine years working beside him, he had become like a comfortable shoe. But he demanded she be his completely and fully, and she knew that could never happen, no matter what. Had he been willing to settle for a smaller part, who knows?

Now she was glad he had demanded more than she could give.

"I had my memories." Edward answered. " I had my trusty hand, it never let me down. It pretended to be you when I spent time in the shower, seeing you in there with me. It never wanted more than I could give." he quipped.

"Well, I guess that means maybe I should have listed my trusty vibrator as he and I got on quite well." Bella answered, laying back against his body.

"He?" Edward questioned.

"Vibrators are always boys, Edward." she informed him.

"God, I fear I may regret this, but does he have a name?"

"Of course." she answered, blushing madly. "Little Edward."

"LITTLE Edward?"

"Yes, he isn't as...endowed as you." she replied.

He flipped her to face him fully.

"Do I get to meet my competition?"

"No competition. I binned him before I got on the plane."

"Damn, we could have tried some fun stuff with him." he whispered as he kissed her forehead and cheek, and moved down her neck, making her shiver in delight.

"I believe he has many relatives, we could always buy another. He was pretty much worn out anyway."

He pushed his long gentle fingers inside her and stroked her slowly.

"Was he better than this?" he asked, kissing her collarbone.

"Never, nowhere near as good as the real thing." she sighed. "But he was all I had."

"Poor Bella, starved for a real man." Edward replied, feeling her press closer to his palm, tantalising her clit as he moved his fingers in and out of her.

"Edward, I am going to come on your hand, I would prefer you inside me." she cautioned him.

"Anything you want, my love." he whispered as he found her wet and waiting and eased his erection inside her.

It had been a long night, being so close and not starting anything while she slept. He had stayed awake most of the night, scared to fall asleep in case it was all a dream.

Now it was all too real and he found it hard to adjust to knowing he could do this, be with her again, whenever he wanted. It was more than any dream had offered, and it was real.

"So, the starting again and taking it slow part..." he questioned.

"I think maybe we should live together, go out on dates and be sure we both want forever, then screw it, who cares what anybody else thinks."

"What's changed?" he asked.

"I admit, thinking you had been with other women, it made me a bit scared and nervous, like I wouldn't be enough for you now you had tasted other flavors. I was just afraid. Now I'm more sure than ever we are meant to be so why fight it?"

Edward had never been so glad he had waited. The temptation had been there, he had argued long and loud with Emmett, who felt he had never given other girls a 'proper' chance, because he always bailed when it got to the 'put up or shut up' point.

"Why would I sleep with anyone I don't have a connection with?" he has asked his brother.

"If you sleep with them, then you may start a connection" Emmett reasoned.

Edward had shaken his head.

"I had a connection before sex with Bella for two years, the sex didn't change it, it only strengthened it, it was already there. I can't sleep with a girl on the faint hope we manage to connect during sex. If there is ever a connection first, then maybe."

"Well, use somebody, pretend she is Bella, keep your eyes closed."

"Emmett, could you close your eyes and eat tofu and imagine it was Kobe beef steak? Neither can I."

"Jesus, Edward, move on already. She isn't coming back."

The look on his brothers face made him instantly regret his words and wish he could take them back.

The night of that conversation, Charlie had been found dead at work, an apparent heart attack, and the funeral had given Edward hope Bella would return. When she didn't, he thought about what Emmett had said and realized he was right. She was never coming back. Maybe she was dead, he had not been game to ask Renee, who was putting on a magnificent show of being the grieving widow, in spite of her second husband standing beside her. He didn't want to collapse and die at Charlie's funeral if Renee confirmed his worst fears.

He overheard the devastating words from the woman's own lips when his ears pricked up on hearing some relative of Charlie's inquire after Bella.

"She is dead..." was all he heard of Renee's reply, and his ears rang and his sight clouded as he stumbled towards his car.

Edward had sat in his car in the cemetery until darkness fell, sure he would get a sign from her that she was here in spirit, in whatever form we took after death.

Nothing.

It was true, she was really gone. There was nothing for him to hope for now.

He had gone home and sorted his belongings into groups of things he wanted Emmett to have, Jasper to keep, and Alice to treasure. His parents would sort the rest.

He wrote out his Will, and left everything to his future nephews and nieces, to be divided evenly, and then he drank from a bottle of dutch courage, and lay in the warm bathwater, carefully slicing one wrist quickly, then the other messily. He knew up and down was the morgue cut, across merely the cry for help. What was the point of crying for help if there was nobody to answer that call?

Only Bella could have saved him and he had fully expected to feel her warm arms surround him and welcome him to the afterlife as he slipped away.

Instead, Alice had used her key to come inside to check on him, and her screams had alerted a neighbor, and soon he was floating and hearing weird sounds and feeling his chest jerk and fall.

When he recovered consciousness, Alice had been there, crying, apologizing.

"Bella is dead, Alice, why didn't you let me go to her?" he asked her.

"Bella isn't dead. She just didn't want to come back for his funeral."

"I heard Renee say she was dead." he insisted, his voice hopeless.

"Edward, you mean when that aunt asked why Bella wasn't there, and Renee said 'Bella is dead to me for not coming and organizing this'? She didn't mean Bella was literally dead, she was laying on the drama and being her usual ridiculous self. I am in contact with Bella, she is fine. I will convince her to call you. I'm sure once she knows what you did, she will want to speak to you."

"You can't tell her. Promise me you won't tell her. I can always do this again properly. If she comes back out of pity, Alice, I will want to be dead."

"Fine but you have to promise me you will never try this again, and you will start dating girls. Any girls, I don't care if it's just for sex or conversation, do something, Edward. It's been five years, if she wanted to be here she would be by now. She can't forgive, she can't forget. You and I are just starting to be okay again, you can't put me through this again. Promise."

Edward had promised, and he had let Bella go. She wasn't coming back. She would have known something was wrong, if she still loved him even a little bit. He should have known how badly she felt over the negative tests, month after month. Money had been tight, student loans were being repaid, there was little left for anything fun, and the night work was making her overtired and sad.

He should have tossed his pride away and accepted money from his parents. Carlisle had even offered to lend him a lump sum of his choice, to be paid back when he reached 25 and got his grandparents trust fund money. But no, he wanted to make it on his own, he wanted to prove they were adults and getting married at 18 had been the right choice. They could fend for themselves. Only Bella had tired of the work and the lack of money and the negative pregnancy tests were just the final straw. She had gone while he had been at the club. He should never have gone, his place was my her side, but Emmett had wanted him to go out with him for once, and it seemed easier, just have a single drink and leave. No drama.

Then that bitch Denali had kissed him, and he had shocked himself by hitting her.

He had been filled with shame and Emmett had pulled him to the bar and poured a few drinks into him, assuring him it was okay, Tanya deserved it.

Edward couldn't agree, it was never okay to hit a woman. And now he had to tell his Bella what he had done. Another drink would help.

By the time Rose came and dragged them both out and dropped Edward home, Bella had been long gone.

At first, Edward was so intent on sneaking inside and not waking her as her shift would be over by now, he didn't wonder where she was. Maybe in the bathroom, maybe working an extra shift.

He was asleep before his head hit the pillow and only in the morning light did he discover she was not at home.

He had rung her work, but she wasn't there, she had missed her late shift last night so he had rung Charlie, and his voice had been so cold, so distant as he informed Edward that Bella had left him.

"But why?" Edward had cried.

"I think you know, Edward. Does the name Tanya Denali ring a bell?"

The slap. Bella had heard what he did to Tanya and was afraid of him now, on top of everything else.

He understood why she left but he still wanted to talk to her, and explain. He didn't mean to hit Tanya, it just happened.

Then he thought about that. He hadn't been able to control himself, he could hurt Bella one day. Maybe she was right to go. He hadn't consciously decided anything, Tanya kissed him, hardly a life threatening situation yet he slapped her, then he saw every eye in the room on him, and he knew he was not the good person they had all thought.

After Alice's lecture, he waited until his scars had healed and Carlisle had removed the stitches, and he attended the required weekly meetings with his psychologist, then he started to ask girls out on dates.

At first he barely managed to stay in their company for the time it took to have a drink together, then he progressed to dinner, then even dinner and a movie. Then he kissed one, he couldn't remember her name.

He hadn't enjoyed it but it seemed the thing to do, the polite thing.

After time passed, he grew more adventurous and saw it as a challenge and high fived himself mentally if he did the drinks, the dinner, the cinema and the kiss, all in the same night.

Gradually he felt more confidant that these girls thought he was normal, they couldn't read his mind and know he was acting out a role. He liked being an actor, it was fun, because it wasn't him.

'Tonight I shall be Brad Pitt in Thelma and Louise.'

'Tonight I shall be Sean Connery."

Being someone else made it easier, he kissed however they kissed on the screen, he laughed at the girls jokes, he held their hands, well Brad and Sean held their hands.

He progressed. He considered the next step. Sex. Brad and Sean had sex, with many different women. He could try to get to that step.

He had touched girls, he had felt their bodies and known they were eager for him to do more, but he had never managed to quiet that inner voice that had seen through the act and whispered to him who he was and who he belonged to and called him 'cheater' if he thought about taking that final plunge.

He didn't want to be a monster, he didnt want to cheat on his Bella, he had always left abruptly and finished what they started in his shower, alone with Bella in his head.

He had allowed a few girls to touch him but never take him into their mouths, that was too intimate, he only wanted Bella's lips around him.

He would tell her all this in time, just as she would explain the almost Jake thing. They were human and had needs and it was natural to want to move on, but somehow neither ever had.

xXx xXx

Edward heard the door open and smiled as he finished the last touches to tonight's dinner. Bella had moved in with him while Esme decorated the rest of Charlie's house, a welcome home gift from herself and Carlisle. They had never blamed Bella for anything that had happened. The only reason they had backed the young couple's desires to marry at 18, was their own conviction that these two could handle it. It had been just as big a shock to them when Bella disappeared, as it had been to their son.

Charlie had been more forthcoming to them, and he had explained why Bella had left but no names. Esme had never believed Edward would cheat on Bella, it was not in his nature, and she had always hoped Bella would come back and allow him to explain. She had questioned Edward many nights when he sat on the brink, not able to understand why his love had deserted him.

"Did you ever do anything, even just kiss another girl?" she had finally asked, and she saw his face change.

No.

Not Edward.

She hadn't pushed him for further details and now she regretted that deeply. Edward had never known that kiss was what was behind the whole thing, had they discussed it, maybe Charlie would have listened and contacted Bella for Edward, with the full explanation.

The change in his face had made her doubt her own son, and she now knew the guilt had been for hitting Tanya, not for kissing her. Even though the slap had been fully justified in most people's eyes, it had not been acceptable to Edward. He did not hit women, and he loathed anyone who did, therefore he loathed himself.

He saw Bella's leaving as his punishment for the slap, not the kiss.

The kiss had not been his fault, therefore he had dismissed it as if it had never happened. Men. They just don't understand how a woman's brain works.

To us, a kiss can be unforgivable, especially when accompanied by such a cruel lie, Esme could imagine herself running from Carlisle at that age had that situation occurred with them.

Bella had been such a trusting soul, that Edward could betray her had never entered her head so she had been so shocked and horrified there had been no room for common sense or a sense of fairness, letting Edward explain. She had been gutted, and had run to save herself.

Too fast, too far. Esme was still very annoyed with her daughter for never telling her she emailed Bella all along. Alice could have been the superhero, she could have saved them.

She always believed Bella, even when young Tanner had been born and the black afro had hinted at his true parentage, Alice had been convinced Edward had simply dodged a bullet, and Laurent had been the unlucky lottery winner. Alice had been so close to Bella she had never allowed the possibility that what Bella believed could be wrong. She had pulled back from her brother and it wasn't until she had her first baby that she let Edward back into her life. Jasper had refused to take sides, and he had stayed friends with Edward and he had pleaded his case to Alice many times, but she had remained firm. Bella would not lie.

Jasper had offered the theory it could all be some misunderstanding but even he saw the guilt in his friend's eyes so he let it go, and loved Edward despite his mistakes.

Emmett had been heartbroken, he adored Bella, not many girls allowed him to sweep them up into his bearlike embrace and he called her his Lil Sis before she and Edward were really anything.

He had refused to consider having a wedding without Bella being there and in the end, a pregnant Rose had forced the issue to a head. Alice had broken down and confessed she knew how to get in touch with the girl, so Rose had handed her the invitation to address, seeing Alice refused to divulge it to anyone else.

Emmett now wished he had married Rose nine years ago, and forced the couple to confront their demons back then. Heck, he could have been an uncle several more times over by now, and maybe even Rosie would have given in and sacrificed her perfect figure earlier if both her best friends had babies. She had teetered a few times after the little twin girls had arrived.

Emmett was an eternal optimist and his world was now back in balance, he had his Rosie, his coming baby and his Lil Sis back home.

Mind you, she was looking a little green lately. And that tiny waist was disappearing, which made Emmett guard his plate carefully when they all dined together. Bella looked like she was eating all the pies.

"So, when are you two making the big announcement?" Rose asked as Emmett watched Bella steal food from Edward's plate. Good move, putting Edward between her and him, his plate was safe from her. Those little arms would never reach this far.

"Edward considers us still married so if we retie the knot, I imagine it will be pretty lowkey, just a registry office type thing." answered Bella.

"You can have any type of wedding you want, we can go back to London and hire out St Paul's cathedral if you want." Edward offered. If it was good enough for Royal weddings, it would be good enough for them.

"I wasn't talking weddings, but a cathedral would be cool." answered Rose, causing them to all pause eating and look for clues to what she did mean.

"The baby? The fact Edward has knocked you up?" she hinted.

Bella looked aghast.

Edward grinned.

He knew, even if Bella didn't.

"Okay, World, listen up. I knocked up my Bella at my brother's wedding. Well, not in the church, later in her hotel bedroom, to be exact."

"Edward!" Bella hissed. "We don't know that's even true. I have been meaning to ask Carlisle to test me or whatever but there's no reason to assume..."

"Bella, my love, you have been positively glowing since that wedding. I know I didn't see you for the ten years beforehand but even Mike commented you looked like you had returned to life since that weekend."

Bella blushed furiously.

"Are you sure that wasn't just from the good old fashioned seeing to you gave her, Edward?" asked Emmett.

"I'm good but I'm not that good." answered Edward, grinning.

"Yes you are." replied Bella shyly, earning applause from the entire table.

"I think you can take it from me, Bella, being only two months ahead of you. You are pregnant, sweetie." said Rosalie.

Bella stood and walked to Edward and he wrapped his arms around her, aware she probably would have preferred this discovery to have between just them, in private. He hoped he hadn't spoiled it for her but he was so happy now, and so proud of her. He sat her on his lap and stroked her arms.

"I love you so much." he whispered in her ear and she put her arms around his neck and lay her head against his cheek.

"Is it true? Are we having a baby?" she whispered back.

"I think we are, my love, but we will go see Carlisle tomorrow to be sure."

Bella clung tightly to him and cried silently. Edward rubbed circles on her back and kissed her tenderly.

He looked around and saw his sister's tearfilled eyes on them. Alice would never forgive herself for not believing him, he knew that but he forgave her.

She walked over slowly and took Bella's hand.

"I'm so sorry. This could have happened nine years ago if it wasn't for me."

"No, Alice, you are not to blame, it's all my fault." corrected Bella.

"Whatever had to happen to lead us to this moment, it was so worth it, my love." answered Edward. Who knew what would have happened if Tanya had never kissed him, if he had never slapped her, if Bella had never believed the lie.

He had to believe it was worth it because regrets could kill him, they nearly had once already. Today was about new beginnings.

His arms were full, his heart was mended, his Bella was home. She had been his for ten years before she left, maybe their life went in cycles, he would be sure to be on the alert when the next ten year milestone hit because neither of them were going anywhere.

xXx xXx

Carlisle beamed and words were not necessary. Bella lay on the hard table and watched as her father-in-law moved the transducer and Edward's baby appeared. So perfect. A small hand neared the baby's mouth and a thumb was sucked inside the full lips.

"Do we want to know the gender?' asked Carlisle, keeping well away from that end just in case they preferred to wait.

"I do. Bella?" asked Edward.

"Sure, I guess it's better to know and buy the right clothes." she replied.

"What do you think it is?' asked Edward.

"A boy, just like his Daddy." she replied.

"I think it's a girl just like her Momma." he guessed.

Carlisle smiled and winked at Edward.

"Do either of you wish to place money on that?"

Edward laughed, knowing he was right.

"I hope you like pink, because my granddaughter says she doesn't want to wear any boy's clothes." he said to his son and daughter-in-law.

The wedding had been quick and casual, a barefoot groom in a tux with an untucked shirt, open necked, his untied bowtie never done up. They married on the beach, the bride in a uncharacteristic pale blue wispy frock more befitting a fairy, her hair blowing free in the breeze, a garland of pink roses around her head, matching the pink roses of her bouquet. Alice and Rose had worn the same dress but in pink, with blue headdresses and flowers.

The twins had worn miniature tutu's, one in pink, the other baby blue like the bride, and had danced in the sand barefoot as their father strummed his guitar and sang to the couple.

Jaxon dropped the rings in the sand and caused Alice to go into a frenzy but Edward had assured her their original rings were fine, neither had stopped wearing them anyway.

It had been a beautiful day, and Bella had cried of course but Edward had a few tears down his face as well.

Carlisle was happy they had found each other again but he agreed with his wife, the intensity of their love was still as dangerous as it was beautiful. They seemed to love more deeply and completely than any other couple he had ever known, even himself and his beloved Esme. He was first to admit, he would spend his entire life petrified of a love like theirs, so deep they couldn't live without each other, so intense they almost ceased to exist when parted.

The day Edward had given up and sought the 'easy way out' had been the worst day of Carlisle's life. Knowing your child didn't want to live, it was unspeakably painful.

He had almost hated Bella that day.

If he had known Alice knew where she was, he would have forced his own daughter to tell him so he could go and get her, drug her unconscious if that's what it took, and dragged her home to see what she had done to his son.

So much pain and wasted time.

He prayed the baby would be fine, he had examined it far longer than any other fetus, it seemed normal, but it had no idea how important it was to them.

Carlisle watched his son wipe the gel off his wife's belly then sink to kiss her, and kiss the child inside her, through her skin.

Edward loved completely, that Bella could ever have doubted that was insanity.

**A/N OK it needs an epilogue, I agree.**


	4. Remember Me Part 4Epi

**I swear I was merely cleaning up the typos in Part 3, I have no idea how the extra 2,000 + words crept in as I went. Must have been Edward.**

Remember Me

Epilogue/Part 4

"Carlie Renesmee Cullen, I am warning you." Bella growled as her daughter appeared with more make-up on her tender young face than the average 40 something hooker wore. Thirteen years old, going on 33.

"All the girls in my class are allowed to wear make-up. Of course, not me, I have to be the laughing stock." She dropped onto the sofa and crossed her arms, sighing dramatically.

"Maybe if I showed you how to apply just a little make-up, to still look natural but make you feel part of the group?" offered Alice, well used to the theatrics of girls. She had survived the painful years of puberty with her twin daughters and they were all sailing in relatively smooth water now.

"If your father sees you done up like that, he will brick your bedroom door over, with you inside." warned Bella.

Carlie reluctantly allowed her aunt to clean the thick mess off her face and apply a subtle amount, just highlighting her natural beauty, and causing her green eyes to shine.

"Wow." she said, looking at the end result in the hand mirror.

"Sometimes less is more." said her aunt, beaming at her niece.

Edward walked in, carrying their surprise late addition to the family, 3 year old Christabelle Rose.

He set her down and walked over to look at Daughter numero uno, now pleased with herself, ready to go out with a group of classmates.

Her dress was a sufficient length to please him, he completely approved of this fashion of wearing jeans under dresses, it was like a safety shield. Very difficult for any hands to 'accidentally' touch any flesh through all that fabric. Bella thought him overindulgent when he agreed to buy any new jeans Carlie asked for, but he liked his daughter well encased, safe from the enemy.

Her hair was long and had the most beautiful copper tints in it's brunette tresses, and it tumbled down past her shoulders.

Should he insist she tie it up? Would that be better or worse? Would it accentuate her budding breasts if tied up?

No, better down, hiding them completely.

"Keep your hair hanging over the front of your shoulders." he advised her.

"Why?" she asked. Such innocence. He hoped Bella had done 'the talk' with her.

Girls, whoever thought having daughters was a good idea?

And he would have to go through this again in ten years time with his adorable Christabelle.

"Because you have beautiful hair,it's wasted if it's hanging down your back where nobody gets to see it."

A knock sounded at the door and Edward opened it and surveyed the visitors.

Damn, Jacob Black's third son was the ringleader again. Named for his father, he was the spitting image of Jake. And like his father wanted Edward's wife, the boy wanted Edward's daughter.

He had warned Carlie about that boy, he was as persistent as his father had been. Bella had been surprised to find out Jake had a son a few months older than Carlie, to Leah, his secret girlfriend if you could call her that. Not to mention two older sons.

Edward had never trusted him so it had come as little surprise to him. All that time he had been pursuing Bella, he had a girlfriend and sons at home. Not that he had ever stopped pursuing her.

Jake had four sons now, and the youngest was just three, like his little Christabelle. He hoped the Blacks would leave town by the time she was a teenager.

"You are to be home by seven o'clock no later, I shall collect you myself." Edward warned as Carlie scowled and ran off to join her friends. Jake waved from his minibus and Edward smirked. Who would have expected Mr Cool to end up playing devoted father? Once Bella left London, Jake had sold his company and come home, developing a housing estate out near the shores of First Beach, making a fortune. Leah and boys had come with him, and she loved bringing her sons up where she had grown up. She had been born on the Res and had been one of the backpackers Jake had traveled with when he found Bella.

Edward assumed Leah had no idea her boyfriend spent most of his life chasing another man's woman. Maybe he should tell her.

Bella had been tempted by Jake's offer to work with him again but luckily the baby news had halted that plan and their son arriving only two years later, she had her hands mercifully full and settled for devoting her time to her children and husband.

She had returned to work with Jake when Caleb started school, and just as Edward started to panic with their tenth anniversary approaching, Bella had unexpectedly fallen pregnant again despite the Pill.

Edward was secretly thrilled but he had reigned in his joy so she would not know how glad he was to have her at home again, for another five years. Away from Jake.

Emmett's son Elliot was amongst the group so Edward pulled him aside and promised him $50 if he kept a close eye on Carlie and made sure Jacob Jnr kept his hands off her.

Elliot was a devotee of cosplay and always needed funds for his costumes, so he was willing to do Uncle Edward's bidding.

"So, paying the nephew to spy on the daughter?" asked Alice, too observant for her own good.

"Like Jasper wouldn't do the same." Edward replied.

"Oh, he has, he does. He got Jessica's son to trail around and keep all hands off the girls when they were younger. I think we paid for Jesse's first car."

"Bella was only 14 when I first kissed her." Edward sighed. It had seemed a reasonable age at the time, now 14 seemed like just a step past toddlerhood. No kissing would be happening to his Carlie for another five years. Maybe ten years. He wondered how long he could bribe Elliot...maybe he should just buy the boy's first car too.

Of course, then he could impose conditions, Elliot had to doubledate with Carlie, and he could keep her safe from teenage boys and their wandering hands. Maybe he should insist Carlie sat in the front seat with her cousin, and their dates in the backseat. That sounded good.

Now he felt sorry for Charlie and knew how the man must have felt everytime Edward appeared on his doorstep, determined to get Bella alone to himself, to kiss and touch. And the nights he had climbed up the tree outside her window and crept into her bed to sleep with her in his arms, God, that had started at the tender age of only 15. Charlie would have been well within his rights to shoot him. He couldn't have known.

Edward used to wonder, and suspect maybe her father did know, but now he had a daughter almost that age, he knew it wasn't possible Charlie knew and tolerated it.

Would he believe a boy slept in his daughter's bed and behaved chastely, merely kissing her? Never, no way, didn't happen.

Fifteen year old boys did not let an opportunity to have sex pass them by.

Yet he had.

He had never considered the fact she welcomed him into her bed as permission to do more than hug and kiss her. Many nights Charlie was out on night shift and Bella would have been alone but for him.

His justification that he and Bella were different, they had to be together, a whole night apart was more than either could bear even back then, would sound ridiculous coming from any fifteen year old boy he caught in Carlie's bed.

By the time they married he had been sleeping in her bed for three years and sleeping with her for two.

Sixteen, what had he been thinking?

That he loved her and knew she wanted him as much as he wanted her. He couldn't regret those days, even if they had been far to young for what they were doing, it had always seemed right at the time. He had never wanted any other girl, never wanted to move on and up his number. Even when Emmett and Jasper told him about their many conquests, all he had thought was how very lucky he was that his girl only wanted him, and he her.

He had felt like the luckiest boy alive, let's face it, he had been.

He had honestly never wondered what it would be like to sleep with anyone else, except those years he feared he may eventually have to, then he still felt no anticipation,only regret that it could come to that.

He would never forget how he felt when he read her number on that paper, knowing no other man had touched her. He still had dreams where he relived that moment, it was like being reborn.

She saved herself for him, again.

How easily he could have messed up and gone that extra step with some of those girls when he was acting his roles.

Of course, it would have meant nothing to him but it would have broken her heart and he had never wanted to do that to her.

He knew he had been born solely to be hers and she had been born for him.

He never met another couple that had been only with each other and it saddened him. He hoped his own children would know love like he and Bella did. The chances were probably remote, especially nowadays when sex was something of a casual hobby amongst teens, and he had read most college students had 'friends with benefits', friends they used for sex without feelings.

He couldn't imagine ever wanting that. It sounded like a nightmare to him.

The only nightmares he ever had were ones where he dreamt she hadn't come back for Rose's wedding, or where he followed her and found her married to another man with a houseful of children and she told him it had been a one night deal, and sent him away.

What would he have done?

She had confessed to him how she wanted to steal a baby from him, and he had smiled, she had done just that but he had fantasized he had given her one, as well, in the days after she left, before he arrived on her doorstep and found her giving away bottles of champagne.

He dearly wanted to give her a baby, it had been the one thing it had seemed he couldn't give her at the end of their first marriage.

Would things have worked if she had been pregnant, would she have stayed no matter what?

You can't change the past but he still had days when he wished so badly he could go back in time, and refuse to go to that bar with Emmett.

He had done ten years hard labor for that crime.

Ten years he wished had never happened, ten years that had broken him, time and again. But he appreciated her all the more when his sentence was served and he had her back.

They had never fought, never argued, rarely even mildly disagreed.

They knew life could change in a second, and tear people who should be together, a world apart.

But he had fourteen and a half years with her since then, and those years had been so good, they still were.

He knew many couples never got 25 years of loving each other, they were amongst the lucky ones, despite the hiccup that nearly killed him.

Thank God Alice had found him in time. He had long forgiven everyone involved for the separation, including Bella. There had been days when he was angry at her, bewildered at how she could have believed Tanya, sad she had not trusted him, maybe that's why people didn't get married at eighteen.

Maybe some life experience would have shown her a better way of reacting to the lie.

He hoped his children would wait and fare better.

His daughter's bedroom windows all boasted the latest in security screens, there would be no boys sneaking into their beds.

And that tree had been severely reshaped when they extended Charlie's house and built more bedrooms and bathrooms for their growing family. No low branches left at all, by some happy accident. No branches to climb.

Edward had suggested they sell this house and move instead but Bella loved this old house, she swore Charlie still lived there with them.

One day their daughters would dress for their own weddings in the same bedroom Bella had.

God, his girls would grow up and leave him.

Maybe he needed a drink.

Caleb was watching old dvd's, Lord of The Rings then Harry Potter.

"Who name's their kid Cedric? That's just mean." he piped up.

"Your father wanted to name you Cedric, everyone said he looked just like the actor who played that character and as you were the spitting image of him when you were born, you are lucky your Mom and I ganged up on him." Alice answered.

"Cedric is a cool name." Edward commented.

"Dad, really? Lucky Aunt Alice was the Name Police. I owe you." he grinned at his aunt.

Bella walked into the room with Jasper, her face intent on listening to his theory on why Christabelle had such yellow blond hair when nobody else in either the Cullen or Swan families had any such shade, going back several generations.

"Recessive genes. Dominant genes make us think all our kids will look like us but every now and then an oddity surfaces, when the recessive gene wins through."

The child was certainly different, with her soft golden blond hair and big blue eyes. They were as ice blue as Carlisle's, and she was such a pretty child.

"Maybe it's a mix of Carlisle's white blond and Edward's copper?" suggested Bella.

"Bless you. Everyone else rudely calls it gray." said Carlisle. Esme laughed.

"I don't have a single gray hair." she skited.

"And my hairdresser will ensure I never do."

Carlisle was much more relaxed nowadays, now his son and daughter-in-law had survived fourteen years back together. He still felt the electric charge in the air whenever Edward and Bella were together in close proximity, but they were all used to it by now. It was just them, they were like two magnets, always needing to pull the other closer. Refueling off each other. He had wondered at times how awesome their sex life must be, all that energy and connection. Then he chided himself for thinking such thoughts.

Their lives had been happy and straight forward.

No major dramas.

They were truly blessed.

He had been the nervous one during their pregnancies, Edward had loved his children from the moment they were conceived and they got used to him laying behind Bella on the couch when she was pregnant, his hands moving tenderly on her belly, caressing the child inside. He didn't seem able to merely sit beside her like most husbands and he never once complained about anything while she was pregnant.

The look on Edward's face when he handed his granddaughter Carlie to him, newly delivered, still naked, wet and crying, had reminded Carlisle of the look Edward had at both his weddings. Raw love, and deep emotion. The look of a man getting his dearest wish.

They had all doted on Carlie, and then Caleb had been conceived and Edward was walking on cloud nine again. Their problem conceiving earlier had somehow made him think Carlie would be an only child, so Caleb was welcomed like a prince.

Then the eight year gap until Christabelle.

Carlisle still laughed at the memory of the pair of forty four year old parents -to- be for the third time, as thrilled as any first time parents, it had surprised him. Most couples by that age would have felt at least a stab of fear and doubt at another child coming out of the blue, eight and ten years behind the other two, but no, they acted like they had won the lottery.

Rose had been pregnant with Shoshana and glad of the company, and the two little girls had arrived just days apart, ensuring they would be close friends just as their mothers had always been.

Edward had confessed he had toned his true feelings in at the time, that was laughable. He simply adored his children as a close second to his wife. There had never been any chance he could love anyone more than he loved Bella.

Carlisle watched Emmett's younger children play fighting on the lawn and smiled.

Emmett was in his element with four sons and his only daughter was as feminine as Rosalie. Shoshana was as pretty as her mother and she stood well back and watched her brothers fight over the football.

"Come in and play with Christabelle." Edward suggested and helped the two little girls set up their tea party.

He wandered into the kitchen and circled his arms around his wife as she attempted to put tonight's dinner in the oven.

"I love you, Mrs Cullen." he said as he nibbled her neck.

"I love you too. What's brought this on?" she asked.

"This year we will have spent 25 years of our lives together. A quarter of a century. It just seems epic."

Neither bothered mentioning it could have been thirty five years. Those regrets were long gone, left in the past where they belonged.

"Guess who I saw in town?" Bella asked.

"Who?"

"Remember Mike Newton? He has come over to work with Jake seeing I am probably never going back to work. I'm not even game to suggest I may, in case you knock me up again." she joked. She knew Edward liked her at home, and out of Jake's reach. The man had never given up, he suggested they ran off together at least once a month.

"God, Bella, do not even mention getting knocked up again at our age. Emmett would love the challenge." sighed Rose, sitting at the table, helping prepare the vegetables.

"I was thinking, you know who would be perfect for Mike?" Bella raised an eyebrow at her sister-in-law.

"Oh God, not Jessica!"

"Yes Jessica. She would love him. He is such a nice man, a real English gentleman."

"Then spare his life. She has killed three husbands already."

"Rose, that's just mean. She does tend to favor rich men twenty plus years her senior, Mike would be like a teenager to her."

"Invite them both to dinner next week and we can leave them alone to get to know one another better." suggested Rose.

"Honestly, you women, all you think about is sex." Edward sighed.

"Lucky you." Bella replied, kissing him before returning to the roast.

"Have I thanked you for marrying my brother and bringing my wife back to me?" Edward asked Rose as they shelled the peas together.

"Not today, and I think you missed a day last year, August 12th and another day six years years ago, October 22nd." she grinned.

"Thank you, Rose."

"My pleasure." she replied.

**Cheers,thanks for indulging me, now I will get back to my real stories. My facebook name is Kismetianfanfic at gmail dot com by the way, I see people have been finding me there lately! I will add photos there soon, inc of my Tonner Twilight dolls, Jake is sooo cute! You will love him, he's prettier than the Edward dolls.(Bella and Alice...just a letdown! They will be getting makeovers.)**


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